Abandoned!

I've moved house.

http://www.sargant.com/blog/

Hywl
- Rob

Hauld Aun

Not posting today. Too busy bashing my fists of meat at a keyboard in order to get a swanky-looking wordpress template - tt's much more work than the cafelog days. Plus our central heating is shit and my hands need defrosting in a microwave or thermonuclear device.

Schroedinger's Cat Hates Me

2.20 A.M. is far too early/late to be doing quantum mechanics. It's got a horiffic name for a module anyway, so it's better off ignored.

I'm going to stare at the ceiling for a few hours until it's time to wake up.

Avoid The Festive Sandwich

Earlier I commented on a traumatic experience I had today with my lunch. Now to relay it in full.

I bought a sandwich from Tesco on Market Street in the city center. A christmas sandwich, it proclaimed. It had turkey and stuffing and cranberry and all manner of nice, christmassy fillings. My brain said YES, and said sandwich was bought.

Had I inspected the packaging closer, it was covered in musical notes and had the line "eat your sandwich while enjoying some festive music" very small underneath the description (I would have taken a photo, but I was too scared for any evidence taking).

Upon opening the box, pressure was released from a small electronic device embedded in the cardboard and it began to sing. Jingle Bells, nonetheless. This panicked me somewhat, so I closed the box to try and make it stop. Failiure. I tried putting pressure back on the device, and that didn't work either. All this time, it was regailing me with little MIDI tunes about snow and fucking reindeer.

Thanks to the IRA, the Arndale center doesn't contain any litterbins, so I put it under my jacket hoping to keep it quiet, but it carried on with sadistic technological intent. Never have I been stared at in such an bewildered fashion before today, when I mingled with the people in Dixons with a singing coat.

Asking baby jesus to make it stop, repeatedly, had no effect either. In the end I stuffed it in a bin back on Market Street with delight and relief. If you know any tramps out there, warn them about the musical trash they'll be hearing tonight or they might just go insane.

November - Cancelled. Returns 2006.

My form has returned - I have spent a month without blogging and not thought about it once until today.

To summarise November, I shall be using bullet points and interesting facts.

• Fireworks are ace. As much as I'd like to have launched my own, firing Roman Candles out of your living room window is a sure-fire recipe for, well, fire.
• "Hotel California" is not the most-played song in California.
• I spent the evening of the 26th in the company of scary neo-communists and other assorted hard line lefties at The Dancehouse.
• Manchester has had the stupidest weather ever - snow, frost, cold, sun, clouds, air, nitrogen and moon. I predict sandstorms before next weekend.
• Lab reports. Fucking lab- reporty- writing- sciency- theory- up- all- night- reading- about- phenomenon- that- don't- actually- existy- bollocks- malarky. I don't like them.
• A sandwich sang to me this afternoon. More on that story later.

I'm sure other stuff happened inbetween, but my brain has interpolated between the events above and if I try to think of anything else, I just think of toothpaste.